Fenced in

Next to P the builder, my project management skills are pretty thin on the ground.

Before the renovation commenced, we decided to replace the back fence. It’s painted mission brown and over the years the cross bars have been reduced to twigs. The fence is shared with the neighbour on our side and also runs along the driveway of the house behind.

The neighbour on our side thought it was a good idea as his fence is falling into his backyard. The house behind is a rented property so we wrote a letter, attached a few quotes and sent it off to the agent. While we were hot on good suggestions we added that with the fence down, we could get rid of their ugly ivy that is sucking out the mortar from our brick shed. We clinked glasses of a good Shiraz over our brilliant letter, sure we’d get a rapid response.

That was in September last year.

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After a month and a few nudges, Z from the real estate agent wrote back to tell us that the owner was perfectly happy with the fence the way it was and was insulted that we had called the exotic and much loved creeper, ivy. The fence coupled with the exotic creeper gave a rustic feel to the property that would be difficult to emulate if anything changed.

I think the owner might have confused rustic bliss with rural poverty. If I had his number I would have rung and suggested that a few rusted out EH Holdens down the driveway would look just the thing.

Instead I stewed for a little while.  Then I got in touch with the Alternate Dispute Resolution Centre. Now there’s a wonderful funded organisation. On our behalf they sent a letter suggesting we all get together for a bit of mediation on how to solve the problem.

I was feeling pretty smug.

Soon after receiving the letter, lo and behold, the rented property owners agreed to a new fence. A very friendly letter from Z the real estate agent addressed to me also said that the neighbour’s illegal bee-keeping activities had been reported to the council and that he could expect a hefty fine.

I wrote back complaining that informing me of this was a breach of privacy.

Z didn’t reply.

The neighbour transferred his bees into legal bee boxes, complaining all the while. They might be legal but the bees still swarm. So there wasn’t much of a win there. Our builder said we were nuts to discuss the creeper, which he mistakenly kept calling ivy, with the neighbour – and poisoned it.

Then we got a bit carried away with renovations and found ourselves house sitting at other places (see previous blogs). 

All in all, I didn’t contact the fencer until February. Still, I thought he would be thrilled in being nominated the winning quote. Instead, he said, that his prices had increased since the quote and that no, he couldn’t tell me what the new amount would be without remeasuring. This didn’t make sense to me as although his prices had increased, our properties had remained exactly the same size. Maybe he had taken all those headlines like ‘expanding real estate market’ literally. Anyway, it is not up to me to tell a fencer his business and I welcomed a new measure and quote.

He didn’t turn up.

The renovation was complete but our back fence remained the same. I rang up the fencer. He said that he was depressed and couldn’t face life as a fencer anymore. We had quite a chat and soon I could understand that a lifetime of digging holes and sawing planks could have its downside. As well., there were of course disputes between neighbours (tell me about it) when they couldn’t agree on who would have the cross bar on their side or how high the fence should be. He had to negotiate many an argument, when all he was paid for was putting up fences. And now he was sick of it and he wouldn’t put up a fence for me under any circumstances. 

So I got some more quotes from another fencer who seemed extremely keen, turning up in the pouring rain to measure up. 

Then I waited another six weeks while the owners of the rented property mulled over the new quotes. They were  around $15 cheaper than the quotes they had previously agreed to, so I could understand the extra time required.

Finally they agreed and the fencer said he’d start last Wednesday – 4 July.

Of course, he hasn’t turned up yet.